Chit Chat Zone

This is not the first time I have seen something like this in the local newspaper
Przemyslaw Kowalewski, 34, of 1305 S. Husband, stalking, molesting a motor vehicle.
I mean what the hell? How do you stalk and molest a Damn motor Vehicle? Do you have to sneak (stalk) up on it so that you can have your way with it? (Molest it) ... Come on!!! How did this guy molest it? Did he get busy with the rubber tires, the gearshift? Or did he just have his way with the cruise control?
Now that I think about this? How did he get arrested? Did the car call the police? Or is this where Onstar comes into play?  Yeah Right! I can just picture this.... The guy is molesting the car and Onstar speaks up, "Sir Please stop molesting my plush leather seats or I am going to call the police"!!! 
I mean thats cool - To each their own right! I prefer women myself. Maybe its a fetish and this guy prefers motor vehicles.... I don't know!!! But now it makes me wonder. Does he molest all cars or does he prefer trucks, SUV's vans or is he into sports cars?  Crap.... The more I write here the more I want to know... 
Maybe I should head down to the payne County jail and talk to him... How would I do that? Excuse me I would like to speak to the motor vehicle molester?  Is that even politically correct? This is the day and age where we have to politically correct just to be sure we do not offend someone... Personally I think it would have been better had the arrest report read something like this...
Przemyslaw Kowalewski, 34, of 1305 S. Husband, stalking, getting anal with a gear shifter of 4 wheel drive Toyota land cruiser.
When police arrived on the scene the suspect was found with his pants around his ankles and... (insert your thoughts here)
I gotta say I really do like living here in Oklahoma and life is good. But some things just crack me the hell up! and that was one of the things that did so figured I would share it with you!!!
Feel free to add your comments to this....